end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
