so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
