he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
