i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
