I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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