We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
