Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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