You really coming over, don't trick.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
