2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize