Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
