you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
