the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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