well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I forgot how hot balto sounded
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
