He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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