real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
