is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
