this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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