3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
