he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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