She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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