So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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