goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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