The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
