That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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