is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
