Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and she was petting her beer can
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
