Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
