I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
