This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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