i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
