Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
