he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
