It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
