I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
