The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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