Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
