his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
