two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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