Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize