She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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