whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
