I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
