so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize