Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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