ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
