I have demons in me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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