he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize