I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Come share oat with me in your robe
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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