i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How does one acquire holy water?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
