Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
