ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
God, I missed his penis.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
