im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
