i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize