yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
