nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
