Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
