i drank out of a bidet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
