I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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