Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
