I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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