we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we're making bets on your personal life
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
